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The Ideal Husband? Marriage , Women , Men. First Name. Last Name. Email Address. This cycle makes it difficult to break free from an abusive partner. Lack of Resources: The survivor may not have their own source of income due to financial abuse, or may not have access to alternate housing, cash or bank accounts.
Police officers do not consistently provide support to survivors. Despite the issuing of a restraining order, there is little to prevent a released abusive partner from returning and repeating the assault. Philadelphia's lack of affordable safe housing and limited number of emergency shelter beds for survivors of domestic violence may mean there is no place to go. Social Barriers: Some survivors may not believe divorce is a viable alternative. Some survivors are socialized to believe that they are responsible for making their marriage work, or for keeping the family together.
In some cultures, leaving your partner is a disgraceful and reprehensible action. Having a disability: A person with a physical disability is five times more likely than a person without a disability to be abused by a partner, spouse or someone considered to be part of their household. Belonging to a sexual minority. Immigration status: Survivors who have immigrated to the U. Click here for resources for survivors who are immigrants. Make and memorize a list of emergency contacts.
Ask several trusted individuals if you can contact them if you need a ride, a place to stay, or help contacting the police. Memorize the numbers of your emergency contacts, local shelter, and domestic violence hotline. If you decide at this time to stay with your abusive partner, here are some coping mechanisms to improve your situation and to protect yourself and your children. You may be afraid to leave or ask for help out of fear that your partner will retaliate if he finds out.
Check your smartphone settings. There are smartphone apps your abuser can use to listen in on your calls, read your text messages, monitor your Internet usage, or track your location. Consider turning it off when not in use or leaving it behind when fleeing your abuser. Get a second cell phone. Some domestic violence shelters offer free cell phones to battered women. Call your local hotline to find out more.
Call collect or use your second cell phone. Remember that if you use your own home phone, the phone numbers that you call will be listed on the monthly bill that is sent to your home.
Use a safe computer. If you seek help online, you are safest if you use a computer outside of your home. Use a computer at work, the library, your local community center, a domestic violence shelter or agency, or borrow a smartphone from a friend.
Change your user names and passwords. In case your abuser knows how to access your accounts, create new usernames and passwords for your email, IM, online banking, and other sensitive accounts. Your abuser could be using:. Smartphone apps that can enable your abuser to monitor your phone usage or track your movements.
Global Positioning System GPS devices hidden in your car, purse, on your phone, or other objects you carry with you. The location of the shelter is kept confidential in order to keep your abuser from finding you. Domestic violence shelters generally have room for both mothers and their children.
The shelter will provide for all your basic living needs, including food and childcare. No matter the circumstances, survivors deserve to be supported in their decision-making and empowered to reclaim control over their own lives. Common reasons why people stay in abusive relationships include:. If someone grew up in an environment where abuse was common, they may not know what healthy relationships look like.
A survivor may be intimidated into staying in a relationship by verbal or physical threats, or threats to spread information, including secrets or confidential details i. Survivors may be financially dependent on their abusive partner or have previously been denied opportunities to work, a place to sleep on their own, language assistance, or a network to turn to during moments of crisis.
These factors can make it seem impossible for someone to leave an abusive situation. People who are undocumented may fear that reporting abuse will affect their immigration status. If they have limited English proficiency, these concerns can be amplified by a confusing and convoluted legal system and an inability to express their circumstances to others.
Learn more about abuse in different cultural contexts.
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